Goodbye First Love

I've been wanting to see this film for months now and finally got the chance to see it last night. It's only playing in NYC for two days! It's a beautiful film chronicling the young love between Camille & Sullivan throughout the 8-year journey of their relationship. It was directed by Mia Hansen-Løve and what I loved most was how universal she wrote their story. While it's intensely dramatic, the film touches on so many relatable emotions. Regardless of your opinion on the movie (it's gotten mixed reviews), it's a very personal viewing experience since you inevitably compare it to your own experiences. And in true French film fashion, the ending leaves you pondering what it all meant. Life imitating art or art imitating life?

Ashton Kutcher sells chips and racism?

This new popchips ad starring Ashton Kutcher is causing quite the controversy, have you seen it? The internet is up in arms over his portrayal of "Raj," a 39-year-old Bollywood producer.

MSN published this article citing his "brownface" as racism. He also plays a German fashionista (clearly fashioned after Karl Lagerfeld), a red neck (complete with beard and bandana), and a British pot-smoking hippie.

Is it terrible I'm not offended by this ad? Does that make me a bad person? Crap.When I first watched it, I knew others would be and figured I would be too. In fact, I was waiting for it. The line that would cross the line and then I'd get to go on the defense and stop eating popchips forever (even though they're really good.)

I feel bad I'm not offended though, like my opinion makes me ignorant or a "bad" Indian (what does that even mean?) While I think the "brownface" was a bit much. The same exact comedic effect of "Raj" would have translated without the darker skin-toned Ashton and he didn't really need to be wearing those traditional Indian clothes but the ad was funny! It was funny people. The British guy was funny. The German fashionista who stops laughing because he's worried about wrinkles was funny. The company relseased this statement about the ad:

"The new Popchips worldwide dating video and ad campaign featuring four characters was created to provoke a few laughs and was never intended to stereotype or offend anyone," the company said in a statement provided to TheWrap. "At Popchips we embrace all types of shapes, flavors and colors, and appreciate all snackers, no matter their race or ethnicity. We hope people can enjoy this in the spirit it was intended."

And I agree. I think people should enjoy this in the spirit it was intended. So everyone- quit getting your panties in a bunch and just laugh at ad and eat some popchips.  *This was not a sponsored post.*

UPDATE: Thought Catalog posted a piece on this as well, "Ashton Kutcher Sparks A Global Conversation About Race, And How Maybe You Shouldn’t Paint Your Face Like That."

PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT ALONE IN THIS.

I cannot look at one more hyper sexualized image of a         woman without losing my mind.

I just don't want this little girl to grow up and think she has to look like that. Where are all the girls with their sassy t-shirts & their attitudes? I feel like i'm losing this fight.

I'm Speechless

I got an email from something called "The Listserve" today. Have you heard of it?

This video is pretty heartwarming.

The whole concept revolves around the question, "what would you say to 1 million people," and I have no idea. I have been asking myself all day and I suppose since I've never been given the platform to do something I never thought I could do, it's not something I bothered to think about. But I want to answer this question, and I want to answer it meaningfully. Even if I never get to be one of the people who write to the listerv, I want to answer it for myself. 

The email today was from a woman chronicling how she lost her job and her journey in re-defining what her career meant to her. She had the "dream"job and it look loosing that for her to realize how happy art school could make her. I can't draw a circle to save my life but that's not the point, the point is...the point is I wanna be a part of creating something, sharing something worth something to someone. I suppose that's why I have this blog. While I don't update nearly as often as I should, I don't want to just post pictures of peonies. There are enough pictures of peonies in the world and I just want to be more than that. Is that okay? 

So the question exists; what would you say to 1 million people? 

How to Escape your Funk

 You’re not sad but you’re not feeling your best, and The Funk, depression’s annoying kid cousin, just won’t leave you alone. It’s annoying when you feel blah at all, let alone when you don’t know why. Nothing in your life is glaringly wrong but you can’t help but stare off into space and the idea of socializing is the last thing you want to do right now. So what now?

1.     Stay in. I know, this sounds like bad advice. Why are you encouraging me to be by myself when I’m a victim of The Funk? Hear me out. You know your SUPER PEPPPY FRIEND WHO IS ALWAYS HAVING A GOOD TIME #WEAREYOUNG style? Do not make plans with her tonight. While she has been (and will be) a good source for an awesome night, tonight is not that night. In your mind, you think this will get you out of the office/apartment and into a bar with booze/friends and that will be good for you. In reality, it will just force your bad mood on others when you realize you’re actually just feeling quiet and introverted tonight and now suddenly, everyone is asking you what’s wrong and if you have to fake one more smile and act like you’re having SO MUCH FUN you’ll #die. Save yourself from this situation and accept that it’s okay to hang out with yourself sometimes, especially when you’re in a funk.

2.     Do the things you like. Behind on episodes of The New Girl? Catch up. Feeling tired? Nap time! Haven’t read Thought Catalog in a few days? You know how to open multiple tabs, get to it! Whatever your idea of fun is, go for it, even if it’s alone. In fact, better if it’s alone. Right now, you can’t be bothered to hold up your end of the conversation with a friend, acquaintance, or stranger so don’t. Make like Beyoncé and from now on, be [your] own best friend.

3.     Listen. Yes, the weather is schizophrenic and the year is a ¼ over and you’re not sure how but those are not the reasons for your funk. We’ve already established this isn’t the Big D but there is something wrong. Blue about a boy who isn’t texting you back? Whatever! He spells “you” with a “u.” You deserve better than that. Not loving your job? Monster.com. Figure out what you’re hung up on and start addressing it. You don’t need to find your dream man and your dream job overnight but making effort to change things is the first step towards feeling better.

4.     Don’t feel guilty. It’s hard to let yourself feel like this and you’re feeling bad for not going out and doing stuff but that’s okay! You don’t always have to be “on.” There are constantly a million and one things going on in this city and tons of people to meet and bars to visit but the great thing is, these things will be there for you when you’re ready for them. Forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to do for the sake of doing them isn’t helping anyone, especially not your wallet.

5.     Be patient. You know those subway ads that read, “BAM! And then it hits you,” or something like that (BTW, what the hell are those about anyways??)? Well I believe funks are the same way. One day you’re humdrum grey and the next day you’re not. While you do have things to sort out, it’s not some puzzle you have to solve before you’re back to normal. When you feel like it, you’ll do stuff again. When you feel like it, you’ll leave your house after your self-imposed 48 hour lock in. So until then friend, just ride it out. 

On accepting compliments

I'm terrible at accepting compliments. I most often deflect and say something like, "Ohmygosh, are you crazy? YOU are gorgeous!" Or flat out deny it like, "No. Trust me, I'm really not that [insert their compliment here]." And every time, I'm so taken aback by my utter lack of grace in accepting a compliment. I googled it once- "accepting compliments." I was so uncomfortable with even reading about accepting compliments I faked skimming the page before deciding to accept my awkwardness. But why! Why am I so awkward about it? It's not just me right? What is it about a compliment that puts people (especially girls, in fact, I'm mostly speaking about girls here) on edge? 

Is it so crazy that we're pretty? Or skinny? Or have such a pretty smile?  I think we think it is. 

Example:

Co-worker 1 & me: You are so skinny!
Co-worker 2: NO I'M NOT. It's just my legs! The rest of me isn't skinny. Stop it.
Co-worker 1& me: *eye roll*

I feel like any girl reading this can totally relate, either because she has heard it before or has said it herself. It wasn't just that she didn't think she was skinny, it was the precision with which she knew the limitations of her skinniness. Enough so to defend against the whole compliment.

I get it though, I really do. I walk the streets of NYC and see legions of gorgeous, skinny, perfectly dressed women. Women in heels with designer bags and bone structure that's intimidating. I also see these girls at parties I go to whose names I now know. And sometimes in addition to being gorgeous and skinny, they're really nice and then I have no reason to hate them. (Ugh.) What I'm trying to say is that maybe it's this constant ritual of comparison we women partake in that is stifling our ability to believe that these nice things people say to us about being beautiful aren't true, that they can't be true, because it's trueER about someone else. I read a Post Secret once that has stuck with me ever since. It was a boy holding up a note that said, "just because she's beautiful doesn't mean you're ugly." That's so, so true.

I realize I've mostly been talking about compliments pertaining to physical beauty here but that's because I've never once heard a girl protest to being funny or smart or clever. Why is that? I guess we are more comfortable accepting compliments about our brains than our bodies. Then again, why wouldn't we be? The models in the magazines aren't glamorized for their knowledge of current events. The media doesn't care to set standards for female intelligence, but they do want to make sure we know how big our busts should be and how small our waists should be.

So, I guess the next time someone pays me a compliment, I won't fight them on it. Because I don't have to be the prettiest girl in the world to be pretty. I don't have to be the "est" anything. Next time, I'll just say "thank you," because that is an appropriate response to their kind words and because that poor, unsuspecting person doesn't deserve the tail end of my awkwardness. 

I'm super curious to know if any of you reading this agree with my sentiments. Are you awkward when you receive compliments? If so, why do you think that is? Do tell!

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost …. I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit … but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street.

Cup of Joe shared this link recently and I love it. How simple and so universally applicable? I'd say i'm at about..Chapter Three ..the goal being Chapter Five. Is it weird i'm okay with that (for now)? Where are you?