Confession

Social Media gives me anxiety. I love to hate Facebook and hate to love it. There are too many platforms to "check in" so I've pretty much stopped. And Twitter...well Twitter I don't mind. It's my go-to for instant gratification, and by design, I suppose that's the purpose.

Blogging though, well that I love. Granted I haven't been/can't/wish I could/promise i'll start posting everyday, I truly enjoy it. I enjoy this outlet to share ideas, catalogue thoughts, and make them permanent somewhere out there on the World Wide Web. It even works in the reverse where I'll have a thought or idea because I want to blog about it and in that sense, blogging (I think) really broadens your horizons, helps you shape your mind. I read SO many blogs and am always delighted at how much there is out there in the world, not just cool links and funny videos, but the stories bloggers share.

My absolute favorite blogger is Kate of Eat the Damn Cake. Not only is she an excellent writer, but the topics she writes about are relatable, honest, and deeply personal. I have so much respect for her and her ability to discuss the issues we all face with such clarity and wit. She'll make you laugh, she'll make you cry, and above all, she'll make you feel less guilty for eating the damn cake! I especially support the latter. So go check her out, she's doing some really great things over there.

On to part two of my confession. Yes, social media is at times overwhelming but, if i'm being honest (this is me being honest), i'm a bit intimidated and/or scared of it. There. I said it. It's out. I feel lame and archaic but it's true. And how I wish it weren't. I studied SM in college, obviously engage with it everyday, have my blogger/SM titan friends, etc., but that doesn't do much to ease my uneasiness. So where is all this stemming from? I sometimes post my latest blog posts on my Facebook page, a way to share what i'm writing since, isn't that the purpose of this blog? Well, last night I couldn't sleep. I kept waking up, wanting to go downstairs and delete that post, so no one would see it. What if people think it's dumb! AH, you're dumb! Then I'd chase that inclination with a thought that went something like THAT'S SO SILLY. QUIT THINKING LIKE THAT. SLEEP WOMAN. And I would but then I would wake up and worry again.

It's not like my last post was my airing all my secrets and exposing my skeletons. But it was something I wrote, about things I like that others may or may not "approve" of, and it feels like there is so much room for judgement there. The J word, an ugly but powerful truth of life. I would love to pretend i'm indifferent to other people's opinions but i'm not. Who is? I think i'm incredibly fortunate to have surrounded myself all my life with people I genuinely feel comfortable being myself with. I've never felt the pangs of judgement especially not from my inner circle because they are the ones who accept me as I am. But the rest of the world? Who knows what the world thinks of me. I don't but I also don't care to know.

I started this blog in February of 2011 and it'll be one year next month. In that almost year, I have never had the "Follow Me" button active. Isn't that like opening a bar but locking the doors? Or something. Even I can't get over how crazy that is and i'm the one that did it. So i'm mending it now. I've activated the Follow Me link, i'm posting the link to my blog on my Facebook and Twitter.

So, you there readings this, follow me! Tweet me! Share me! I've got worthwhile things to say, and I hope you'll agree. Happy Weekend!